Being All Woman.

My father once told me "if you can drive in the city (Melbourne) for five years and not have an accident Tanya, than you'll be a good driver." Remembering his statement, I recently applied it with a slightly different interpretation when I started to morph into a woman; the type of woman complete with killer heels, manicured nails and the unnatural obsession with her hair out of place; in my case it puffs out as frizzy as an afro the moment I step out of the air-conditioner's range.

But let's back-track a second first... I want you all to understand that although I am An Australian Woman Abroad, I have never really looked like this kind of woman previously mentioned. At twenty nine years old, before living in Bangkok actually, I had never owned a pair of high heels, gave a stuff about the birds nest on top of my head, or thought for one second that I couldn't do what every man could do in my converse runners. There were times of course where this was contradicted, but for the most part I was like a cockatrice, only part boy, part girl, part animal and part rubbish.

Yet since I am now the proud owner of three divine pairs of high heels and looking for the most part, better than usual, I realized that if I could master walking in my ten centimeter stilts within these wrinkled pavements of Bangkok without putting myself in hospital than I'll be able to walk anywhere in heels.

The greatest test came recently when I slipped off to Ko Samui for the weekend. For most who don't know, this island in the gulf of Thailand was the 'greatest' test because seven years ago I came to Ko Samui with my sister and while walking on the sidewalk, which ran alongside the beach, I fell in a hole of coral - in flat shoes. I shredded my leg and cried like a baby goat. So of course, I had my reservations about wearing heels.

On the second day, I was told that I was going out to dinner in an upscale restaurant on the north coast of the island. Excited as I was to look the part and taste Zazen's cuisine, a name that had been ringing in my head the whole day, I was dubious about experiencing one of those 'ass-over-tit' kind of moments in public. Anyway fears aside, all went well for the most part, we enjoyed an incredible selection of appetizers, complimented with some N.Z Pinot Gris when I suddenly had the call for the bathroom. Having downed two glasses of wine and about three glasses of water already, I couldn't wait for a stable arm to guide me on the boardwalk, so off I went.
Being all woman and swinging my hips, (the only way to walk in high heels I worked out) got me stuck like a Queensland fly up a nose, right in-between two planks of wood, which for your information was a gap that was the exact width size of my heel. Luckily I didn't go far. I just tap danced around on one foot, aware that if anyone turned the corner they would have a nice snap shot of one divinely clunky woman.

Guess it will take a bit more time and a few more adventures to metamorphose into a real live woman... let's pray it's not some wilder beast that emerges instead.